There are moments in our lives when we do not think anyone will understand what we are going through. We are suddenly experiencing symptoms like a missed period, nausea, craving certain foods and feeling extra tired. You first think you are coming down with a “bug,” but then the symptoms do not go away. You are terrified that you just might be pregnant. Your mind races and you worry. Do you tell anyone? Should you keep it to yourself? What about your parents? Your boyfriend? You think you are completely alone and that no one will help you. It feels like your world is falling apart. How can you be responsible for a little baby? You wonder how you can “fix” this without having to feel so overwhelmed. You think you only have one option, because that is all you ever hear about.
I know firsthand how all this feels because my daughter was experiencing all these symptoms and all the worries that go with a possible pregnancy. We had just moved to South Carolina and our daughter had decided to move with us. She decided to break up with her (manipulative) boyfriend who lived far from us. The first symptom that was a “red flag” was the vomiting that occurred first thing in the morning. Parents or friends often see these changes and start questioning. The missed period and bloating. I talked to my daughter about these signs, and I told her “I think you might be pregnant.” I suggested we talk to her dad and that we go to CVS to pick up a pregnancy test. She very quickly agreed and so the three of us went to CVS. The ride back home seemed to take forever. We got home and she took the first pregnancy test, and it was positive. The second test (we bought 2) came back even more “pink” than the first! We called her sister who lives in the Midwest, and we talked. Our “little girl” was about to turn twenty-one. She had just started a wonderful new job. She was scared to say the least!
Both our daughters are adopted through open adoption. I am infertile. She knew how we felt about adoption vs abortion. Our family has been extremely comfortable with adoption, ever since our daughters came to us as infants, at ages 2 weeks and 6 months. I asked her what thoughts came into her mind with this positive pregnancy test. She shared with me all her worries, her uncertainties, and her experiences as an adopted child. She knew how beautiful and selfless, such gifts of love, both she and her sister were to our family. They both grew up with an appreciation, respect, and love for their birth families from an early age.
I asked her if she wanted me to contact an open adoption agency. She did not hesitate in that response, even though I could read every anxious sounding nerve in her voice as she said yes. I Googled “open adoption South Carolina.” The very first agency that popped up was Adoption Options in Charleston, South Carolina. I told her I found one and I asked her if she wanted me to make a 3-way call with Adoption Options? She said “yes.” I called and Emily answered the phone. Emily is an adoption counselor and Director of Operations for Adoption Options. She was the soothing, caring, compassionate woman that our daughter needed to hear on this late Saturday afternoon. Our daughter had her two (positive) pregnancy tests sitting right next to her the entire time we were on the phone.
To be honest, most of the 3-way call consisted of either Emily (or me) talking, because our daughter was still quite scared and overwhelmed. She warmed up more as our conversation with Emily continued.
Emily told her she could call her anytime-even in the middle of the night. When we finally hung up the phone, our daughter was still scared, but she knew she was not alone. Now she had someone else in her corner. Someone who understood what she was dealing with. Emily did not push her in anyway. There was a steady calm about our daughter after the call. She had a lot on her mind. What would the “ex” manipulative boyfriend say? Would an adoptive family choose her, just as much as she chose them? What were the next steps? Would an adoptive family love this baby just like it was their own biological child? If she did not choose adoption, would she be able to provide for this baby on her own? For our daughter, abortion was never a consideration. She only wanted what was in the best interests of this child. Little did I know that our daughter was already thinking about the future of this child. She compiled her own list of reasons why she should place this baby for adoption. She was on her way to her adoption journey for this little baby. She was NOT alone, she had a support system, and she knew she could call Emily at any time. There was tremendous comfort in all of this for our daughter. We all knew everything was going to be okay. God had a plan and a purpose-not only for our daughter-but for the precious baby she carried!
– Kathleen